The Roller Coaster of Love

They tell you that marriage is hard. That it is like a roller coaster filled with ups and downs. There is no way to understand just how true that is until you're in it. There are some days that are so hard and everyone in the house is cranky and frustrated and the house is a mess that seems will never be clean. Sometimes on those days I want to throw my hands in the air and scream "I give up! I want out! I'm done!" But then I stop and think: What would my life be like without the chaos? I wouldn't have those moments when I stop and think, I can't believe this is my life. I am so blessed.

I didn't promise to love my husband when it's easy to do so. Through our vows, I promised to love him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

This year has really tested those vows.

There is never enough month at the end of the money, but this year has proven more difficult than usual. We had a car die on us, and we unexpectedly had to purchase a new one, which meant we had to figure out how to come up with the money for a monthly car payment. Plus, the water heater went out and we had to have the repairman come out three times to fix parts on it. Luckily the very expensive part that had to be replaced was covered under warranty!

Not to mention the health issues this year. Emmy had a few visits to urgent care for a UTI, nursemaid's elbow, and a nasty cold with a chest infection, and a trip to the allergist where we learned she is allergic to our dog. Lily broke her clavicle. And then Joel ended up in the hospital for the better part of a week with a nasty attack of colitis. And during that time I ended up with the worst sore throat of my life that just didn't seem like it wanted to go away. That was just about the toughest week I have ever had. I was exhausted, in pain, without my husband, missing work, and trying to balance everything at home and at the hospital. Talk about too many balls in the air!

Because of this past year I have come to appreciate our vows more than ever before. Even more than on our wedding day - when it was easy to make those vows. 

So, Joel, today, on our anniversary, my new vow to you is this:

It is easy to feel my love for you when the days are easy and filled with fun. I promise to work harder to feel the love on the hard days. When the days are long and stressful and the girls are out of control and dishes are piling up in the sink and the house is a mess and the bills are stacking up and there is no clean laundry to be found, I will stop and think about our love for each other. I will remind myself of the beginning. When things were easy and we were getting to know each other and slowly falling in love. When there was time for dates and not hurrying home to pay the babysitter. 

I vow to remember how happy we felt on our wedding day. To remember the love we felt, and still feel to this day and forevermore.