My Promise

Why is it so difficult to stay calm while talking to children sometimes? Looking back over the last few weeks (and months), I have not been the good mom that I always wanted to be. I've lost my patience, gotten angry, and yelled, a lot.


With Emmy it is easy to stay calm. She doesn't understand things yet, and she is really just a baby still. You can't yell at a baby.


But Lily is my "baby" too. She may be a "big girl," but she's only 3! Three-year-olds don't understand everything yet either.


This morning Lily wasn't listening, and I was getting upset. I will admit that, as much as I hate the fact that I've done, I have spanked her in the past. When I get to the point where I have completely lost control of my feelings and my anger. Just a swift swat on the bottom. When I was getting upset this morning, I looked in her eyes and she looked scared. I'm sure she thought I was going to hit her. How terrible is that?! My daughter, in that moment, was afraid of me. It broke my heart. A child should never be afraid of her mother. So right then and there, in that moment, I made a promise to Lily. I apologized for getting angry with her, and I promised her that I would never ever hit her, and that I would try really hard not to get so angry.




Is yelling at my child going to get her to listen and understand? Probably not. Is spanking her going to get her to listen and understand? Definitely not.


So today, I'm making a change, or at least trying really hard to make a change. Because I made a promise that I intend to keep, and this beautiful little girl is worth it and deserves it:

Say Hey!

Wow! A 5K! For some, it's an easy task, but for me it was a challenge. A challenge that I gave myself on the road to health and fitness.


About five years ago, Joel and I were in a 5K training class. About halfway through the program, we found out I was pregnant. We stuck with it and finished out the course. But, we never got around to actually running a 5K. Though, by the end of the program we were probably running the equivalent of a 5K. It's probably needless to say that I did not strap my running shoes back on again for a long time!


A few years (and one baby later) I decided it was time to strap on those running shoes again. The school had started an after school run club, and needed adults to be out running with the kids. I thought it would be a good way to get back into running. I had obviously forgotten that little kids run full speed ahead, and don't have to stop to catch their breath! So, that round of running lasted for the few weeks that the run club did.


Another couple of years (and another baby) later, I joined Weight Watchers and they had a 5K challenge. All you had to do was walk a 5K, and you would get a charm for your keychain. (I am addicted to getting awards at WW meetings - it's my little moment to shine.) So, I decided that I was going to get back on the running bandwagon. This time I was not only going to train for a 5K, I was going to run it!


So, how did the race go? It was great! I knew I would be able to finish the 3 miles, even if I had to walk it, so my goal for myself was to run more than I walked. Well, I was able to "run" the whole time. A very slow, 12+ minutes per mile run, but I did it! I was the last of the runners to come in, at 40:48, the walkers started coming in about a minute later. So, I was slow, but I don't care. I did this for me and only me. The cool things about this race are that it was the day after my 29th birthday, and it was the first annual Say Hey 5K in downtown Chaska. I think I may have to start doing this one every year!


My new goal is to continue running and do the Warrior Dash next year. Crazy? Yes! Difficult? Definitely! Rewarding? For sure! I can't wait!










Note: I did another 5K a few months later (without any training runs), and pushing Emmy in the stroller. At this one, I did walk a bit, but came in a second faster than I did at the first one! And the funny thing about this one is it was the day after Emmy's first birthday. I guess I will have to find a 5K for everybody's birthday now!  :)

The Different Levels of "Tired"

This one was started back in mid-June.


This past week's lack of sleep has left me tired. It also left me thinking of the different levels of "tired." Any parent out there can probably relate to this...


Growing up I would always complain about waking up early and having to get to school (I loved school, just not the waking up part). Throughout the day, my friends and I would complain, "I'm sooo tired! I was up so late last night!" Back then, "so late" probably meant 10:00. That kind of tired is barely anything. On a tired scale of 0-10, that would have been a -5.


In college, I would pull all-nighters. I was tired, but could still function. On the tired scale, this would have been a 6.


Then, I became a parent. Not just a parent though, a nursing mother. In my opinion, you don't know tired until you've have been up multiple times a night with an infant literally sucking life out of you! (Note: I love my children and they are worth every sleepless night and middle-of-the-night nursing session I ever had! But, it literally does suck the life out of you!) On the same 1 to 10 scale, this is about a 20.


Being tired when you are a parent is a whole different ball game. There is no chance to sleep in, take a nap, or go to bed early; there is just more and more tired. 


When I was pregnant with my oldest, people told me "sleep when the baby sleeps." It's great advice, really, because in the beginning, your body is recovering and you need that rest. I didn't follow that advice. I took that time to do things that I couldn't do while she was awake. I learned my lesson - or so I thought. When I was pregnant with my second, I told myself "sleep when the baby sleeps." But, again, I took that time to get laundry and cleaning done. Would I have still been tired? Yes! Would I have found time to get those other things done? Yes! But, it was a little bit of time that I had in my day when I could just be with myself and my thoughts. That, I can't do when I'm sleeping.


Somehow, some day, I know that I will catch up on sleep, but for now, bring on the tired because it means I am there for my children when I need them and that I do everything I can to provide clean clothes, meals, and decent home to live in!

It's been a while....

I haven't updated in a long time. Today I am trying to catch-up on my posts, including a few that I started but never had the chance to finish. Hopefully I can get it done today, even though I'm "single-parenting" for the day.