The Final Steps Toward Motherhood

Four years ago today (it was a Saturday that year), I was sitting at home with my big belly wondering when my baby would come. The day before was my due date, and my doctor said it could be a while before the baby came. I wasn't dilated, I wasn't effaced, nothing. I did have a "funny feeling" that evening, and began to wonder if something was starting.

This is the last belly shot I took a few weeks before baby was born.

Back to Saturday: my belly was getting hard throughout the day, but it didn't hurt at all, it wasn't even a little uncomfortable, I could just tell that it was happening on and off. Then in the evening, it started to hurt - a lot! Seeing as it was my first time experiencing contractions, I still wasn't sure if it was the real thing or not (note to self: if it really, really hurts it's most likely the real thing - duh!) because I was trying to time them but they were very random. I had Joel call the birthing unit and talk to them and they said to bring me in because they could check me. We grabbed the bags and the car seat (just in case!) and hopped in the car. When we got to the hospital and got checked in, the nurse checked me - still not dilated! I remember thinking, how is that possible when it hurts so much?


She had me walk around for a while and rechecked me after an hour, and still, nothing. So they gave me a pill "to help me relax" and sent me home. Who sends a pregnant lady in obvious pain home?! I thought it must have been some sort of cruel joke! I called my parents to update them, and as soon as my dad answered the phone I started crying! I think I freaked him out pretty badly!

We got back home and I tried to eat some dinner and take a bath, hoping the warm water would help. It didn't. So I tried laying down to get some rest, but every time I fell asleep I would have another contraction that would wake me up, and they seemed to be getting worse, so Joel called the birthing unit again, and they said I could come in again and get re-checked.

God was on my side that time, because I was now dilated between a 1 and 2 - hooray - that meant I could stay and get my epidural! (God's gift to women, after giving us this punishment of pain - thanks to Eve! ;) ) After that, I don't remember much...nurses coming in to check my progress and flip me, my sister and parents coming in to see how I was doing, Joel sleeping on the fold out chair, me in and out of sleep myself. Then morning came, and so did my doctor. She came in to check on me and break my water (a little over 12 hours in labor, and my water still hadn't broken yet!). I think that was around 8:00 or 8:30 in the morning. I remember her saying "Well, it's taken you this long to get this far, so I'd say we'll be having a baby around 4:00." - Remember that, it will come up again! After that, it was more of the same, people coming in and checking me, flipping me, more sleeping, etc.

Then, around 2:00 in the afternoon, the nurse finally told me that I was ready to start pushing. It was at this moment that it finally hit me that I was going to be a mommy (kinda late, I know!). It was at that moment that I had a mini panic attack in my head - How was I going to know what to do? I had never taken care of a baby before - I really didn't even know how to change a diaper! Was I really going to be a mother? And a good one? But those thoughts were fleeting and insignificant. And so I began to push.

During the two hours, Joel was being so supportive, he was whispering positive comments in my ear and encouraging me. Unfortunately, I didn't hear any of it. In between contractions I was trying to fall asleep. I knew it wouldn't actually happen, but I was just trying to zone out so that I could make it through. I remember at one point I was ready to give up. I was shaking my head and saying, "I can't do it. I'm done, I can't do it." Eventually, I pushed hard enough and long enough.

Do you remember what my doctor had told me that morning? Refresh your memory, because my beautiful baby girl entered the world at 4:07 in the afternoon! My doctor had nailed it! :) I remember my doctor putting the baby on my belly, and I said, "What is it?" They told me to look, but I couldn't see. Finally someone said "It's a girl!"

After almost 24 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing, on Sunday, December 16, 2007, my beautiful little 7 pound 11 ounce, 21 1/4 inch long Lily Grace had entered the world. I was officially a mom. I immediately said, "Hello, Lily," and then turned to Joel and said, "She looks just like you!" And she did. Everything about her was Joel, even the hairline!

Tomorrow, that beautiful little girl will turn 4. I can't believe how quickly the time has passed and it seems that each year goes faster than the previous one. Lily is now a very spunky and sassy (sometimes I swear she is 16 inside!), energetic, talkative, curious, bright young girl who started preschool this year. Her smile lights up my world and I love being her mommy. She is one of the greatest blessings God has ever given me. As much as I can teach her as her mother, she teaches me so much more. She teaches me how to enjoy every moment, take each day as it comes, and most of all, patience! I love to watch her grow, learn new things and see the wonder of the world.

Some days she drives me absolutely crazy and I think I may pull out my own hair, but the good moments far outweigh the bad. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Happy Birthday, Lily Grace! 

Lily's preschool picture

Picking out our Christmas tree