The difference of 10 years

  Earlier this year on a staff retreat, we were posed the question, "What has changed for you in the last 10 years?" When I heard the question, sitting there as the youngest (by about 13 years) person in the room, I couldn't help but chuckle out loud. At 32 years old, it would be easier to answer the question "what HASN'T changed in the last 10 years?" The Earth still revolves around the sun, the sky is still blue, grass is green.

Ten years ago I was a young woman, barely out of college. I thought I knew who I was, but I still didn't have a clue! In the last ten years, my life has completely changed. Professionally, I've gone from my life-long dream of becoming a teacher to realizing my true gifts and talents working in my call to ministry. That alone has been a big change with the transition from teaching Spanish to working in youth ministry and faith formation. I've gone from being a single woman to a wife and mother. I have dealt with medical issues, cancer in my family, job changes, building a house, and so much more.

But the biggest transition has been going from "me" to "we." Ten years ago today I married my best friend. The one who can make me laugh even when I'm angry. The one who supports me in every crazy idea I have. The one who makes me take a look at myself and the way I handle things. The one who is always there for me no matter what.

In our last ten years we have dealt with our own hospitalizations, family illnesses, moves, the ups and downs of home ownership, puppy training, and parenting. The road hasn't always been easy, but it has always been worth it. I wouldn't trade our crazy little life of ups and downs with our three beautiful daughters for anything!

In the last ten years we've grown from this:

To this:

 Our house is filled with love and laughter. And of course, with three young girls, lots of screams and drama!

Happy 10th Anniversary, Joel! Here's to many more decades together. I'd say "I do" to you all over again.

If I Could Turn Back Time....

So often when people pass away we say, "If I could turn back time," followed by things that we would do differently. For this past week, the phrase has been running through my head over and over and over again. Ever since I heard about the death of my best friend's dad, I've kept thinking "If I Could Turn Back Time." But not for the typical reason. It runs through my head constantly now because it is my absolute favorite song of all time, and every time I hear it, it brings a smile to my face and my heart as memories come flooding back.

Back in junior high, I went on a road trip summer vacation with my best friend Heather and her parents. There were a few cassette tapes that we brought with us (yes, cassette tapes - remember those?). I don't remember all of them, but the Cher one stood out. Every single time the song "If I Could Turn Back Time" plays I think of Dan, Pat, and Heather. I can still imagine Dan sitting there in the driver's seat of the car singing the song to the rest of us. And even while driving, he would belt out "If I could reach the stars," and reach up for the stars, and then belt out "I'd give 'em all to you!" and reach to the back seat and hand them to Heather and me. Before that road trip, I had never heard that song before. After that trip, I had the whole thing memorized.

Years later, if the song came on the radio in Dan's office, he would call and leave the song as a voicemail message on my phone. Ever the jokester. But it always made me happy to know that he still remembered and still cared. I wish my voicemails hadn't disappeared when I switched phones.

Dan was a man full of one-liners, endless humor and goofiness. He was like a second father to me, and far better at embarrassing me than my own father ever was! A couple of his favorite lines were:
*Sara's so ugly she can stop running water.
*Sara must have hit every branch on the way down from the ugly tree.
*You're really a fart smeller - I mean, a smart feller!
*Fudge-Ah-Matic! (With big emphasis on the "fudge.")
He especially loved to pull those first two out when Heather and I had boys around.

Everything he did was full-on and full-energy, He was a great softball coach and a hard worker who never knew how to slow down and take it easy. He lived his life to its fullest, and did so much for others. On the outside he was a big goofball, but inside was a teddy bear. And luckily he had Pat to balance him out. I can't imagine a better pairing. Pat's calm and patience was the perfect other half for Dan. (And sometimes his only voice of reason.)

Well, Fudge-Ah-Matic, Dan! You sure caught us off-guard this time, and we will miss you dearly. Pat and Heather especially. There is a space in our lives that will never be filled again, and there will be a little less humor. You are one-of-a kind, that is for sure. 

But Dan, now that you can reach the stars, can you please give a few to us down here? 

Dear 2013, You kinda sucked. But I love you anyway.

I have never been suspicious of the number 13. It is just another number. Digit after digit. But this past year, 2013, has really made me wonder...

*The bumps in the road started early on when my grandma was diagnosed with cancer.
*In March, a coworker fell and ended up with a traumatic brain injury. He has been out of work since, and I have helped to cover some of his tasks, which  has made for some busy weeks and at times a lot of continuing to work from home in the evenings, and is continuing to mean extra hours and some weekend events at work.
*Sometime in the spring our water heater went out. We were without hot water for almost a week as we waited on parts.
*We finally had to realize that Joel's car wasn't going to make it much longer, and we had to buy a new one. This was especially difficult for two reasons: it was my grandma's car that I had bought from her, and money was already very tight. Buying a car was going to make it even tighter.
*In June, Lily fell off her bunk bed and broke her clavicle.
*My brother burned his fingers on acid at work and lost almost all of his fingernails (which have grown back, luckily).
*In July, Joel got sick and had more than one trip to the doctor's office/urgent care before being admitted to the hospital with an infection in his colon.
*Emmy fell face-first onto the concrete and we had another trip to urgent care.
*In October I was admitted to the hospital to treat a blood clot in my brain.
*Then Joel ended up being sick on Christmas, because the year needed to go out with one last blow.

It has been a rough year, so many ups and downs. And because of all the craziness, to top it all off, I turned to food and sugar (darn sweet tooth!) for comfort, leading me to gain almost 40 pounds.

So why did I love it anyway? Because of the lessons learned.

I always knew that my faith would get me through hard times, but fortunately I never had hard times to get through and lean on my faith. I am a worrier by nature. A lot of things freak me out. But when I was sitting in urgent care with a massive headache and the doctor came in to tell me that the ct scan showed a blood clot in my brain, I was calm. I didn't start to freak out or cry. I remember thinking, "okay, they'll get me to the hospital and take care of it." Totally not a normal response for me. I usually start running scenarios in my head where things go wrong and I start wondering what would happen to my kids if anything happened to me. But somehow through the whole thing I stayed calm and didn't freak out. But through the whole thing from diagnosis to ambulance ride to hospital admission to being admitted to the neurological ICU to MRI to spending four days in the hospital, I didn't freak out. I remained calm and knew that I would be okay. I cried a few tears, but that was only because I felt so blessed when my family showed up to visit me.

I didn't see my medical condition as a big deal. When I told people what happened, I would point to my head and kind of roll my eyes a little and nonchalantly say "I have a blood clot in my brain," like it was no big deal. I think that's because I knew I would be okay and because I was really lucky that it was in a vein and not an artery, so the blood was being stopped from leaving my brain instead of coming in. Had it been blocked from coming in, things could have been so much worse.

Through my whole experience I was at peace. The only explanation is because I had the strength of God on my side. Like I said, I always knew that my faith would get me through hard times but I never had it tested. Here's the awesome part about it: I never had to force myself to rely on it. It just lifted me up instantly. God gave me strength, and I didn't have to ask Him for it. He knows what I need, and when I need it most. And I had so many prayer warriors on my side lifting me up. I still prayed for continued strength and prayers of thanksgiving. I was at peace, and I didn't even need to ask for it. God gives us what we need when we need it. He hears our prayers, and He knows what is in our hearts. For that, I am so, so thankful.

I've learned is that it's okay to rely on others. I'm the kind of person that will do anything for anybody. If you need me to come over and clean your toilets, I'll do it. If someone is in need, I will jump up and help without hesitation. And I need to remember, that I'm not the only one like that. There are plenty of people out there who are the same. People who are willing to step up and help out. And I need to learn to ask for and accept that help. I am so lucky to have so many people that are willing to help out when needed. My parents have helped us out more times than I can count, friends opened their doors to us so we could shower when we had no hot water, friends that took care of my kids when Joel was in the hospital, my in-laws come down to help out with the girls when needed on more than one occasion, and so many more people offered help in other ways.

As a result of the craziness of this year, I have chosen happiness and peace. I choose not to let things bother me and get me angry. Anger is the easy response, but too much of it can just bring you down and change you. I am choosing to brush things off and let them go. Of course, this isn't always easy, and I will still get angry at times, but cutting down on how often I get upset about things is changing me. It will make me a better mother and a better wife and a better servant of the Lord. 

When it comes down to it, I know I am abundantly blessed. I have my home, my family and friends to support me, more than enough food and clothing, and my life. My beautiful, wonderful life. So I know that whatever comes my way, I can handle it.

Mission: Jewelry Organization

 So, I have a slight obsession with jewelry. I have a lot of different items, and didn't have a good way to organize them. I finally found a couple ideas on pinterest, combined with an item from Thirty-One Gifts that perfectly organize all my baubles and bangles!

Here is what my necklaces looked like before:

Just a bunch of necklaces hanging on C hooks that I screwed into the wall. At first it worked, but my necklace collection grew too much to continue to fit! The necklaces became a mess and it was difficult to get them off the hooks because they were over-crowded and getting tangled.

Solution: A jewelry pegboard! I saw the idea on pinterest: 

http://buttonbirddesigns.com/out-of-sight-out-of-mind/ 
but this blog post didn't have any instructions.

One weekend I had it in my head to get this done, but my husband was out of town. I am a very determined person, and I decided I was going to make this thing, even if Joel was gone for the weekend. So, I broke out the power tools and measuring tape and got it done! (Though there was a little bit of frustration when I was trying to find the studs. And I gave up for a few days, but eventually got it done. All by myself.)

We already had a long piece of pegboard, which I had to trim a little bit. It was a few inches too long to fit on the wall. So I got the saw out and cut off the excess and sanded it then spray-painted it purple.

I couldn't just put the pegboard right on the wall because the hooks wouldn't have fit in because the backs are deeper than the pegboard. So, I found a few old bed slats in the garage that were about an inch thick. I put three of these up. One towards the ceiling, one towards the baseboard, and one towards the midway point.

 After the wood was up, I screwed the pegboard into those.

 And then added my hooks - lots of them! I also added a couple longer hooks to hold a shelf up. On the high part of the pegboard I put items that I don't wear often.

The shelf holds a couple of ice cube trays which is filled with all of my earrings. The nice thing about this is that I can always add more ice cube trays, since they are easily stackable. :)

For my bracelets, I ordered a Littles Carry-All Caddy from Thirty-One Gifts (www.mythirtyone.com/sjsvenby). The caddy is only $12 (plus $7 for personalization), and has so many great uses!

My jewelry is now much more organized, and it is easy to find what I need in the morning. I love it! And the plus side is we already had the pegboard, the slats of wood, and the screws on hand at home. I only had to purchase the hooks and the little shelf, which only cost me a total of about $22. Not bad!

(Sorry the pictures aren't great. It was hard to get them because of the tight space in my closet, especially since this is right where the door opens up.)

Cheesy Sloppy Sliders

So I saw these yummy little sliders on Pinterest, but when I clicked on it, the link did not take me to directions on how to make them. But I made these today and they were yummy and so easy to make!

What you will need:

Ground beef

Ground sausage

Velveeta cheese

Slider rolls

As I browned half a pound of ground beef and half a pound of mild sausage together, my adorable sous chefs cubed half a pound of Velveeta for me. 

Once the meet was browned and drained, I added the cheese to the pan with about a tablespoon of milk to help thin it out a little bit. Are the cheese melted into the meat, it was ready!

We served them on slider rolls. I used buttery ones, which were good, but the Hawaiian sweet rolls would be good too! The amount we made was enough to feed the four of us and have some leftovers to spare. 

Even the little sous chefs liked them - and they can be picky eaters!

The seasoning in the sausage provided a nice flavor while the cheese made it creamy and held the meat together a little bit. These were a nice game day lunch for us, and would work well to make ahead of time and put in the crock pot for a party. 

Her life is about to change forever...

The other day my husband said to our five-year-old daughter, "Your life is about to change forever." And that was the first time that it really hit me. He's right. Her life is about to change forever, because tomorrow she starts kindergarten and her life never will be the same again. The rest of her life from here on out will be dedicated to something specific. Whether it be a student for the next  13+ years, or someone out in the "real world" contributing to society and (hopefully) making a difference. Soon the days of being a kid with no plans who can enjoy every second as it comes and not worry about what is to come will be gone.

She's a five year old so excited to start school and every morning she wakes up and she asks "is kindergarten starting?" I wish that she could hold on to that excitement and always have that desire for learning.

I know that someday in the not-so-distant future I will have to drag her kicking and screaming out of bed, fighting against having to go to school, complaining that she doesn't like her teacher, complaining about homework and tests, but for now, I hope she enjoys it. I hope she enjoys every second of the fun she is about to embark upon. This amazing journey of life and living and learning. And I hope that she can hold on to that excitement and wonderment of going to school. Of seeing the "big kids," learning form them and their experiences. And may she never take for granted the beauty of education.

I guess that's why we start this big change when we are young, when ignorance is bliss. Because if she knew what was in store for her over the next almost 20 years of school and college, would she be this excited? Would she be so eager to put on her uniform and new school shoes and head out on this journey? If she truly knew what was in store for her come middle school and high school, she would not have the eagerness inside her to learn and to step foot onto that school bus and walk through those school doors. But I'm glad she is eager for it. I'm glad she is ready to go to school. And I hope that just like her mother, she gets so excited for that first day of school each year.

What would you do if you knew it was your last day in the status quo? If you knew your life was about to change forever?

As an adult, I understand what this last day of freedom means for her. Her last chances to not worry if she is doing enough, if she is smart enough, if the other kids like her. Of comparing herself to others. Learning that society is harsh on people. Soon she will be seeing what the world is really like, and not the way she sees it now - full of wonder and mystery and things to explore. Of course, all those things will still be there but she won't see the world that way, through the innocent eyes of childhood.

What would you do if you could go back to those days but know what the start of school meant?

I want her to hold on to that love of school, of learning. To never take it for granted.

And of course this year we will hope for a better school picture than last year's. :)

The Roller Coaster of Love

They tell you that marriage is hard. That it is like a roller coaster filled with ups and downs. There is no way to understand just how true that is until you're in it. There are some days that are so hard and everyone in the house is cranky and frustrated and the house is a mess that seems will never be clean. Sometimes on those days I want to throw my hands in the air and scream "I give up! I want out! I'm done!" But then I stop and think: What would my life be like without the chaos? I wouldn't have those moments when I stop and think, I can't believe this is my life. I am so blessed.

I didn't promise to love my husband when it's easy to do so. Through our vows, I promised to love him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

This year has really tested those vows.

There is never enough month at the end of the money, but this year has proven more difficult than usual. We had a car die on us, and we unexpectedly had to purchase a new one, which meant we had to figure out how to come up with the money for a monthly car payment. Plus, the water heater went out and we had to have the repairman come out three times to fix parts on it. Luckily the very expensive part that had to be replaced was covered under warranty!

Not to mention the health issues this year. Emmy had a few visits to urgent care for a UTI, nursemaid's elbow, and a nasty cold with a chest infection, and a trip to the allergist where we learned she is allergic to our dog. Lily broke her clavicle. And then Joel ended up in the hospital for the better part of a week with a nasty attack of colitis. And during that time I ended up with the worst sore throat of my life that just didn't seem like it wanted to go away. That was just about the toughest week I have ever had. I was exhausted, in pain, without my husband, missing work, and trying to balance everything at home and at the hospital. Talk about too many balls in the air!

Because of this past year I have come to appreciate our vows more than ever before. Even more than on our wedding day - when it was easy to make those vows. 

So, Joel, today, on our anniversary, my new vow to you is this:

It is easy to feel my love for you when the days are easy and filled with fun. I promise to work harder to feel the love on the hard days. When the days are long and stressful and the girls are out of control and dishes are piling up in the sink and the house is a mess and the bills are stacking up and there is no clean laundry to be found, I will stop and think about our love for each other. I will remind myself of the beginning. When things were easy and we were getting to know each other and slowly falling in love. When there was time for dates and not hurrying home to pay the babysitter. 

I vow to remember how happy we felt on our wedding day. To remember the love we felt, and still feel to this day and forevermore.